Wednesday, March 13, 2013

how to make two become one...

Its NOT love,, It is IN Love :)


ok.. here comes the "old and boring yet you never get bored of it" topic..
LOVE?? heck,, what is love??? well.. Im not such great person to know so much about love.. 
I have been heartbroken and a heart breaker.. 
sometimes we just didnt realize.. but we are not good at it.. 
Last time when we were fooling around at the Korean Market buying some groceries.. we happens to walk behind an old couple.. walking slowly while holding hands.. so sweet right...
well what make them so good that they are still devoted to love and can still show this romantic gestures..
So i thought to myself.. to see the reason why people can make it *survive to live with a spouse that is not necessarily up to your expectations, fulls of habits that mite get u feel annoyed and on top of that sooner or later we just drift apart and start to feel boring and arguments never seems to stop...* if they can hurdle that one.. well.. of cause holding hands in their old age is one of the sweet rewards they should receive..
(mental note: for a romantica girl like mua,, holding hands during old age makes u always feel beautiful..)

So back to our topic.. HOW DID THEY DO THAT???
well.. what i like to think is.. what they didnt do that makes them like that..
u see,, in most relationship.. most people say its two people becomes one.. but somehow for me its more likely to think.. two hands becomes four.. its making your life easier,, no matter how tough the life becomes.. it lessen ur burden.. its the cooperation from the sweet sweet love feeling that will be the budding of the sweet sweet happiness.. it will act as a barrier in your heart,, no matter how many times they left the dishes unwashed u gladly wash for them,, within that harmonious time.. you gain and give respect.. you stop being selfish.. and act as one.. that is for me being in love..
but human are never good at it.. cause we tend to doze off.. we sway from the idea of loving just because we are loved..  we tend to take it too easy.. and tend to take advantage..
in the methaforically speaking of two hands becomes four.. we stop using one of our hand.. and do things single handedly.. and that is when four hands return to two.. but the fact is... why people say at that moment it is easier being single is because when u have two mouth to feed and two stomach to fill, yet only two hands at work.. that is when disaster struck.. and the only thing we can see is the bad side of the other.. and always asking for him to do better.. yet never realize that we too had stop using one hand and that is when we are out of love..

the trick is actually simple.. when u find ur true love,, the one that can fill u up at a time,, and the one that can also empty u out at a time,, then it is time to never let go of both hands.. be gentle to her.. never think.. "well maybe its ok if i do this or that".. when you have four hands u r grant two mouth.. that is for u to speak up and talk,, and four ears to listen more than talk,, and two hearts to understands more. Being in love should be easier that way.. Right??

well.. in my case,, we may havent perfected that yet.. but as long as both of us wiling to try,, we will make it work.. we talk more.. we listen more,, we understand more.. we love more..
and yes.. the story of my life is.. i hope one day.. there will be time,, to wake up with him by my side.. prepare the breakfast.. he do the dishes.. prepare his shirt.. tidy up the tie.. kiss his hand before off to work and get a kiss in reply,, leave a note on the bento i packed him.. make his dinner and talk about the day.. quarrel like a married couple and make up like a lover before the night ends so tomorrow we can hold hands again and starts a new day being IN LOVE like the first time we felt it.. ameen... 

Thursday, February 28, 2013

What u see.. In a man..

MY IDEAL GUY <3

Well, normally we lists up things we want in life... well at least i do..
we have a very long list of expectations.. things we hope we encounter and good enough to conquer it.. 
I supposed its the same thing when its about love,, i made lists of what i wanna find in him,, things i wish that would captivate me to him,, not necessarily that.. i mean i see things from the perspective of what makes me love him.. but there few other instances of what people take accounts in making their lists... 

...EXAMPLE 1...
A good guy friend of mine always said something like this to me.. 
his bride to be should be of  a very POOR family.. a VILLAGE girl,,
an ONLY CHILD that is even better if she is an ORPHAN.. 
i asked him why you wanna all those characteristics? 
he said so that if she is poor she wouldn't ask much.. while a village girl is even for me an undoubtedly a very suitable candidate of a bride to be since they are raised up trained to do housework + high tendency of being polite..most village girls cook very tasty meal too.. *this is mostly applied to the girls ONLY..hoho just kidding.. there are 1% chances boys would be off the same attitude..LOL* an only child so that she would not have any family problem inheretance or what not.. an orphan so that they wont have to choose which house to go back to during holidays.. since he practically dont have in laws.. 

...EXAMPLE 2...
A senior of mine said not once but many of times actually.. 
the first thing they see in man is their IMAN.. 
other than that.. we dont look at their face.. their wealth are what we after..ERKK,,, lol
since this is my senior during high school.. i bet they dont really meant this anymore..
WILL THEY??? 

Anyways,, as for me? what do i look in men.. other than IMAN,, 
im a shoujo fan girl.. most of my ideal guy are practically came from the 2D characters of the comic i read..LOL so much for an otaku.. i always dreamt of guy that knows how to tease but still have limits on their frankness.. a guy who will to protect.. a good fighter is a bonus,, but prefer those who keep calms,, the one who says romantic things.. just enough to flatter me once in a while.. i want someone who treasure me enough to the extent of care to show some jealousy,, which i found it is cute for guys to be jealous.. however typically,, there are two types of guys i found cool in manga.. the one who take care from a far,, rarely show he cares even if its the opposite way.. this is the type that kinda gets you to think he never cares,, a painful one yet never fail to show up when in need,,, second one is the type who never let a chance slips at making a girl flatter leading her felt happily shy of being love.. 

but what are MY LIST???
1) love at first sight??
2) romantic
3) caring
4) pamper me
5) charming prince

hurm,, if i add more to that list,, even prince william couldnt add up to that.. *not that i think prince william is my taste..its just his name seems pretty..LOL*
but not everything we listed,, planned and hoped are to be true..
you see i actually watch a movie that have a particular impact on having such "LIST"
In a story starred by Hillary duff.. she did a lists of the men she will and should fall in love.. yet in the end the guy she finally fall for are not even near of letting her give him a check on the list.. but what we never expect is whats best for us.. just like her.. she may did not have a check,, but she had all the list crossed out.. thus making her out of list and see him as the one who clears out her list..

So what if i do have a list.. n what if he didnt score "checks" on my list.. in the end,, everything will be crossed out,, and i will cherish what i have,, for better and for worse.. 

Thursday, August 9, 2012

erasing the past...

RINTIHAN HATI..

Life is never fair,, no matter how much you try to male it looks good enough.. is never the way we planned to  have it our way.. I had tears in my story.. yet.. i was searching for laughter.. I was looking for the end,, so i can bounce back for anew beginning.. I was holding on.. still holding on.. as i am unsure what the future are hold for me.. I stumbled on every social steps i made.. It cause me real pain.. but 1 thing I learn... Life Goes On.. Nothing gonna change... Nobody cares what the hell happen to you.. They care what new stories of ridicule they can get from you.. Its not for everyone.. yet.. the reality of life states that among the tears of another.. another will laugh.. So yeah.. I realized that part quite well enough.. I just felt trapped.. trying to search for a way out.. even if it means for me to lead my life alone.. I wished I am a cast out.. I wished that I can go without telling.. Cause I am suffocated,, yet My heart still trust that my tears will find its point of joy..

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Jika diberikan ku satu peluang

THIS SONG...

It reminds me of someone..
i felt like.. am i feeling the same way as this song trying to say.. regrets and hopes..
regret that i let him go.. hopes that i could make things right..



Jika diberikanku satu peluang
Apa yang aku impikan
Pulihkan segala kesilapan---->> this is how i feel :(
Jika diberikanku satu peluang
Kembali ke masa silam
Kan ku pilih ke tarikh kita dulu
Bagai dijanjikan
Pertemuan singkat waktu itu---->>first time met at tesco?? sweet memoirs
Bagai dituliskan
Kesetiaanmu---->> u have always been honest
(Korus)
Pernah dulu ku sebutkannya --->> our dreams to be married
Pernah dulu ku ingkarinya --->> me who shattered the dream
Bukan bermaksud
Lukakan hatimu
Ku lakukannya untuk kita
Ku lakukannya demi cinta --->> cant let u be fooled by me no more
Bukan bermaksud
Maafkan diriku
Jika diberikanku satu peluang
Apa yang aku inginkan
Diriku dirimu dulu --->> when my love is yours
Jika diberikanku satu peluang
Tembusi masa depanku
Kan kusuluh tiga tahun dari situ--->> when now u and she
Saatnya terhenti
Seketika kau terima lafaznya --->> i know u guys more than frens
Saat yang ku nanti dikau bahagia--->> but im not asking u to leave her for me..
instead..im happy ive let u go.. so u happy now.. with her..:)


life is not a joke

EXPERIENCE IS THE BEST TEACHER

Dalam hidup korunk.. korunk pernah perasan x.. ayat ni tym kecik2 dulu,,
"haa..panjatla.. panjat.. panjat tinggi2.. nanti jatuh xtawlaa.."
bg ak.. ayt ni cm sgt2 familiar lah.. eh bukn tuk ak..
ak baik kecik2 dulu xmeragas (xbyk songeh) tp tu dpn mama baba la.. belakang  diorg..
km buas..wahahah.. tp cm biasa.. pandai wat.. pandai kaver.. life is an adventure la katakn..hoho.. 
so ayt ats ni ak sll dgr sbb ada makcik2 selalu ckp tym ank2 diorg mula menunjukkn aksi2 ekstreme.. tmbah2 ag bila ada majlis2 keramaian.. di mana makcik2 mula kuar jalan petang2 lepak bawah pokok mempelam kat pangkin depan umah.. n talk "biznes".. hoho but the best part is.. bila kuar je ayt cmni.. kebanyakan kalinya.. kompem budak2 nakal tdik insaf.. XJADIK BUAT...hoho.. sedangkan kalu kita ckp "jangan panjat..jangan panjat.. nanti jatuh susah.." for sure.. sume pakat nak panjatlaa..hoho
why is that so?? well.. it is simple.. it is reverse physchology.. its like bila kita disuruh jangan wat sumtin.. the curiosity level elevates.. tu yang makin menjadi2.. instead kalau kena suruh buat.. 
two reasons i think.. 1. we are scared.. why mom being nice.. let me do crazy stuff.. not love me no more..LOL
2. the excitement is taken out.. huhu.. tapi.. tu masa kecik2 la.. when we are learning NOT TO DO DANGEROUS STUFF that gives MOM TROUBLE.. not good.. not good..
tp.. now.. i am big enough.. enough for mom to have me decides on couple of things about my life.. dan sudah besar untuk melakukan life choice mistakes.. i mean.. boleh dikatakan banyak jugak la life choice ive made.. was the stupidest choice of all.. kelakar pun ada.. sakit pun ada... dalam erti kata lain..
not the smartest thing to do yet i did it.. and learnt from it..
how do we learn from it?? well.. ive been talking about this with my best friend for quite some time now..

FOR EXAMPLE...
kami dua.. macam teenagers yang lain.. terpedaya dengan cinta.. lol.. tp xla kronik mana pun..
its just some time.. kita tersuka sumone.. and kadang2.. time suka.. semuanya OK.. i mean..
guys will always promise this and that.. give 1001++ hopes.. tapi xsemuanya diorg mampu untuk keep pun.. tp tu reality of a mankind.. we say things that we dun really know of.. which is normal and understandable..
but in this life.. there are guys that are sooooooo freee.. that they play all the time.. they play with toys.. so many toys that when they are out of toys.. they chosed to play with hearts instead.. women hearts.. me and anim.. we met these type of guys before.. so we learnt from them,, cause know what.. these type of guys have a relative characteristics.. they have their own traits that we can distinguish them.. 
like.. when you see the person u r starting to like now is almost like ur ex.. it feels.. so wrong..
for hanim.. a guy that asks her to be "more polite" and for me... a guy who makes me cry for his attention.. SO NOT COOL!!! 
its like.. when you already has an example.. you should learn from it.. mistakes that are made and cause ur heart to cry is the most valuable lessons in life.. that is why deer never fall for the same trap..
they analysed.. and they learned.. and so should we.. but sumtime.. we just didnt realized.. 
cause all traps are traps.. but the angle where it will capture us are different from time to time.. 
as for the tittle above.. life is not a joke, is that we should be easy on our life.. but we should never take it lightly.. every single steps we take is count.. so think before you do..
think of the hearts.. you'll hurt and people u'll upset.. cause if ur life is not a joke so as others...


toodles.. 
**hoping for a fresh start**